Bollywood baby birthday bashes
Have you ever been to a 1st birthday party? In Bombay, particularly when there is a link to the film industry, these seem to be very much ADULT parties!
My 1st introduction to what I’ll call the “1st birthday phenomenon” was years ago at the Spastic Society (now known as ADAPT – Able Disabled All People Together) in Bandra Reclamation.
The father was the director of the film Leela and it was his pride and joy’s birthday! Was the little guy to be seen? Well… he did make a sleepy appearance for a short while but then retired. Which was perfectly fine because this was very much an adult bash – brilliant fun full of all sorts of interesting characters.
Fast forward more than a decade later and I popped into another 1st birthday celebration in Bandra during my ‘bonus time.‘ Bereft of my partner who was busy with a film shoot in Goa, I landed up by my lonesome wondering what to expect.
Cake cut, signal for “adult” time!
The princess of the evening did an admirable job of smiling, chortling, being oohed and aahed at, tossed giggling into the air. In the earlier part of the evening there were puppets, games and other activities for the little ones. However after the cake, the mood clearly shifted from being a “general” admission party to time “parental guidance” at a minimum… it was clearly time for the adults to pick up the pace and strut their stuff.
Shots made the rounds along with the snacks, casting agents rubbed shoulders with actors, much merry industry networking took place. Now… lest I sound cynical, the parents of the enchanting birthday belle are truly lovely people and fully appreciated the irony that their gal wouldn’t remember her 1st birthday at all.
The adults clearly enjoyed the babes bash! And I’ll admit, I was no exception…
With Irrfan Khan, one of the many adult celebrants!
No these weren’t wild nights of debauchery however both were parties as much (or more) for the full-grown celebrants rather than the tiny tots.
Have you been to any “adult” baby birthday’s lately – Bollywood linked or otherwise? Or is this phenomenon unique to Bombay?
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Feasting in Matunga – Experience Udipi Indulgence
So… what did I do with my “Bonus time in Bombay“? Lots of things! For starters, finally made it to Ram Nayak – a favourite udipi joint to stuff myself silly on yummy South Indian vegetarian fare.
For literally years I’ve wanted to go back – a treat usually reserved for foreign guests who want a ‘real taste’ of food here. I shared this desire with more than one friend and finally last weekend a bunch of us decided “Yes let’s!” More miraculously – actually followed through on our enthusiasm – full credit to our ring leader not I!
Why is this place so memorable? (more…)
Improbable Efficiency – The Lunchbox Love Story (take 2!)
I’m just so darn proud “The Lunchbox” did well in the festival circuit and opened this week in India (with global domination around the corner!). And while “The Lunchbox” was passed over for the Indian Oscar entry, delighted it is finally reaching audiences. Congratulations to Ritesh’s deft writing & directing and the entire cast & crew that made it happen.
So here goes a repeat of my earlier post published 21 May 2013 – with ‘extra bonus’ movie trailer and image!
Photo: The Lunchbox FaceBook page
Improbable Efficiency – A Dabba Love Story (more…)
Bonus time in Bombay – Jakarta I’ll be back again soon!
Today I was supposed to be in transit to Jakarta… but I’m instead waking up in Bombay. What happened? Did I miss my flight? Was there some major life tragedy that derailed everything? Nope! Just a simple delay in the launch date for the project which means more time home rather than away. (more…)
‘Eve Teasing’ – The other side of my love affair with India
Let me start by sharing that I have yet to meet one single woman anywhere in the world who has NOT experienced sexual harassment in some form or the other.
I challenge you to have a serious conversation about it with any woman and ask if she has escaped – impossible. It simply is a question of the various circumstances, frequency or severity… not whether it has occurred.
A letter on CNN by an American student on her experience of harassment traveling in India sparked considerable debate recently:
- India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear by Michaela Cross on her Chicago University study abroad experience
- The Truth About Sexual Harassment: An Open Letter to Michaela Cross on her experiences as an Indian studying in Paris
- India and a Blonde Tourist – An Alternate Account by Jane von Rabenau whose experience is much closer to mine as quite positive with only a few challenges
It prompted me to reflect on some of my experiences as I too began my ‘love affair’ with India on a ‘study abroad’ program. I’ve also seen how complicated these programs are to organize from dear friend who used to lead such tours to India until they became just too challenging.
Ignorance isn’t bliss (Photo taken in Bandra, Bombay)
First blush… flirting run amok (1990)
- My first time in India was with a summer study abroad tour with Canadian university students – mostly MA and PhDs – coming to India with various backgrounds, ages, academic interests. The group was predominantly composed of women with two male leaders – one from Canada and one from India.
- It was a remarkable experience with six weeks of jam-packed amazing activities that left us exhausted, overwhelmed and also deeply engaged. It was a trip of a life-time and, though I didn’t realize it then, changed the course of my life irrevocably.
- And while we had some mild ‘harassment’ from the ‘external’ environment, it was what happened ‘internally’ that was more disturbing with sexualized conduct by the team leaders whose ‘flirting’ went beyond what’s acceptable. From offers of ‘massage’ to needing to firmly shut the bedroom door in a persistent leader’s face, an element was thrown into the ‘masala’ which made an already charged atmosphere even more so.
- One participant had a breakdown – the environment and her experiences in our travels triggered childhood memories of traumatic repeated rapes growing up in Canada.
- Years later one tour leader was charged with misconduct as his activities escalated in future programs. So while there were some marvellous moments, there were other times which alas were not.
- Yet what stayed was positive and the incredible privilege of being introduced in such a dynamic way to a remarkable country.
You can’t silence us! (Photo taken in Bandra, Bombay)
Dancing with eve… learning to fight back (1995-1996)
- Years later on a fellowship studying in Delhi, I learned first hand just how serious the innocuous sounding phrase ‘eve teasing’ truly is.
- As I hopped on and off DTC buses and navigated the streets of Delhi, I quickly discovered this was very real and potentially dangerous.
- On buses, ‘shoulder jacking’, for example, was quite popular and while primarily directed at seated women – guys were not immune either and would also find themselves being vigorously rubbed against in a situation where there was literally no room to move.
- So I shed my polite Canadian veneer and learned to fight back! Practicing my basic Hindi hurling abuses, attempting to embarrass the perpetrators by shaming them loudly and, at times, drawing blood as I dug my fingernails into hands that were in places they had no business being.
- I learned what to wear to reduce unwanted attentions, how to carry myself differently and never let down my guard when alone.
- I also learned to always arrange a ‘male’ companion if going out at night – which generally just happened and was all good fun!
- And it virtually stopped! The new ‘amour’ worked brilliantly and I could be comfortable as long as I worked within these lessons learned.
- While there were challenges, these were few and far between. Overall, it was an exceptional time – full of discovery, growth and much more – one of the most positive experiences in my life. For every negative there was an even greater positive experience and I have no regrets.
Yo gurlz – listen up! (Photo taken in Bandra, Bombay)
A match made in Mumbai (2003 to….?)
- Fast forward to 2003 with a return to Delhi… there were signs of some improvements. However catching a bus or rickshaw after dark from work to home was still decidedly NOT a safe or pleasant experience.
- With the purchase of a car, hiring a driver, I finally had respite and gained a freedom to move around that had earlier been impossible.
- More significant was the move to Mumbai in 2005 which enabled me, for the first time, to take off the ‘armour’ I adopted to cope with life in North India.
- It was suddenly acceptable to step out of home in the evening alone and hop on a rickshaw! What joy! What a relief!!
- Defiantly I began to confidently wear clothes that I couldn’t conceive of decades ago – and revelled in how significantly what is considered ‘appropriate’ had changed.
- And while I would never deliberately invite trouble, I do have age on my side. After 23+ years flirting with India, my love affair has evolved from being a young ‘didi’ (sister) to a maturing ‘aunty’ – respectable in a committed partnership with a lovely man.
Yet today in I see signs of the earlier blithe assumption of safely moving around as a woman in Mumbai in jeopardy. In dismay I watch my beloved ‘Bombay’ report repeated public cases of brutal rape and witness the environment shifting. Each day the newspaper brings further updates on the latest example of a woman or child being molested.
My love affair remains strong and true – I remain fortunate to construct a life where such challenges are minimal. However I’m equally aware this is something which can never be taken for granted. Eve teasing in India is not to be taken lightly. However India is by no means unique and no one is exempt either from the experience or responsibility for sexual harassment.
So how does it feel to be a woman in India? Frankly how does it feel to be a woman anywhere in the world? Or, for that matter, under certain circumstances a man too? Sexual harassment is unfortunately universal. Can you challenge this?
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The sounds of travel… death by baby wail!
Oh those innocent little tykes. Those big dark moist eyes. Those little fingers that fetchingly reach out. Cuteness incarnate until… Mouth opens wide and unleashes…. THE HOWL!!!!
Yes I’ve shamelessly borrowed this from an IDBI Fortis campaign – hope my friends there will forgive!
There is something about flying in and out of India. For that matter most countries with a youthful demographic. There are always kids – LOTS of kids! And in some cases, they have the most amazing lung capacity. One sets another off and soon there is a symphony of screeching.
On my recent trip from Mumbai to Jakarta, I had their sweet serenade from the queue outside the airport, the wait to check-in, then the wait for immigration, followed by the wait for security so that even before stepping foot on the plane… their lungs were clearly well-primed already for the coming concert. My head was throbbing in accompaniment long before we even took off!
These munchkins are champion caterwallers and – alas – can keep it up ALL night. Nothing can hold back the anguished wails. Noise cancellation headsets at ear bleeding levels cannot compete. (more…)
Back in Bombay… and straight to Bandra!
Its my first trip home to Mumbai since landing a super cool project in Jakarta. I managed to arrange a flight route (via Bangkok) that permitted me to arrive in time for a friend’s new gallery / event space launch. We reached just as the music began, what joy to be serenaded by a dear friend, munch on macaroon treats, sip wine and generally enjoy terrific company in a convivial atmosphere. Our friend has done well with this new venture!
For those unfamiliar with Bandra, it is a special neighbourhood – a catholic bastion with strong proud traditions that has become rather popular with ex-pats – including those seeking a more ‘regular’ life not bolstered by insane high salaries and expense accounts. You know the type – locally hired foreigners who have chosen to stay and forgo all the ‘extras’ that come with a pampered ex-pat nomadic life!
Particularly the immediate area around Veronica and Chapel road, one can still find old bungalows and a sense of community. The space I found myself just a few hours from landing is one such bungalow… That was falling into complete disrepair until along came friends with a huge labour of love and rather more money than they planned – transforming it into a new avatar – an enchanting space to enjoy for eclectic events and show off funky furniture.
Yes we were a rapt attentive audience!
Happy Independence Day India + Indonesia!!
Today my adopted home India celebrates its Independence Day. On Saturday I fly home from Indonesia – as it celebrates its Independence Day.
While the boundaries of the nation-state seem out-dated in this remarkably connected world we live in… Pride in who we are, where we come from, a sense of community and belonging can be a good thing.
So here’s a cheer to India & Indonesia – may you have much to celebrate on these days with more to come!
— From a global citizen privileged to enjoy both India & Indonesia!
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“Mauving to Manitoba” from Mumbai Monsoon
We returned to a decidedly wet Mumbai still very much in the midst of monsoon. In an amusing moment, just days after leaving Winnipeg, I was reminded of Manitoba at the most unlikely of places – a Mumbai spa!
View from the backseat… a tenacious Mumbai monsoon (photo: Carissa Hickling)
While I enjoy little indulgences and luxuries, I rarely prioritize such activities. Most days, basic grooming suffices with self-trimmed nails, no polish, skin and hair that gets the most rudimentary daily cleansing and moisturizer. I’m not fussy about getting ready and can go from a slovenly state to shower, make-up, clothes and out the door in 20 mins or less if required!
A dear friend of 20 years, by contrast, delights in pampering and makes a point in her annual visits to Mumbai to fit in spa treatments. We normally have a month or so together each year, so it is a ritual that at least one mani / pedi / hair spa visit is made augmented by calling a masseuse home a couple of times.
Home remedies – sick chick soup!
I lost the battle! A nasty cold was ready to pounce even before I left Monday for Bangkok. A couple plane rides, killer air conditioning and sleep deprived day or two later, I returned home well and truly sick. Naturally as I’m a generous sort – my partner also is blessed with sniffles and cough.
With only three sleeps to go before our big Canada trip, we knew we needed to up our ‘home remedy’ game. So in addition to the tried and true (list below), I also made a couple of soups. By Sunday, it was full-on comfort food craving time. Rummaged around the fridge and found carrots and ginger – and voila! A savoury Sunday soup for a ‘sick chick’! (more…)
Everyday Asia 